I Was Going To Have Cosmetic Surgery

The Word 'aerobics' Came About When The Gym Instructors Got Together And Said: If We're Going To Charge $10 An Hour, We Can't Call It Jumping Up And Down.

Men Don't Feel The Urge To Get Married As Quickly As Women Do Because Their Clothes All Button And Zip In The Front. Women's Dresses Usually Button And Zip In The Back. We Need Men Emotionally And Sexually, But We Also Need Men To Help Us Get Dressed.

I Don't Plan To Grow Old Gracefully. I Plan To Have Face-lifts Until My Ears Meet.

My Mother Is Such A Lousy Cook That Thanksgiving At Her House Is A Time Of Sorrow.

Men Like Cars, Women Like Clothes. Women Only Like Cars Because They Take Them To Clothes.