I Was Class Mom At The Preschool

I Tell My Kids, "look, Your Life Is A Video Game, And I Have To Get You From Level Zero To 18 As An Independent Person With All Your Skills And Limbs Intact. Every Time You Hit Your Brother Or Throw Food, You're Taking Us All Back."

I Have This Fancy Givenchy Bag. I Don't Know What The Kardashians Have In Their Bags - I Bet They Have Really Expensive Products Or Six Cellphones Or Something. I Have A Cellphone And Some Lipstick For Me, And The Rest Is Just Filled With Stuff For The Kids - Sunscreen And Lip Balm And Little Ziploc Bags Of Pretzels And Cheese Sticks.

I Guess I'm Not That Aware Of Such A Big Fan Base. I Have A Few Core People Who Write Me No Matter What I'm Doing, But I Hardly Have Sacks Of Mail Being Dropped On My Door!

Children Are Like Crazy, Drunken Small People In Your House.

I Just Can't Seem To Make Myself Care About What I Look Like When I Am Working Out.