I Was Brought Up As A Catholic.

[to Audience Members Who Were Arriving Late] You Haven't Missed A Thing, I Was Just Killing Time 'til You Got Here.

When People Say "it's Always The Last Place You Look". Of Course It Is. Why Would You Keep Looking After You've Found It?

For Me, It's About The Desire To Win. My Audience Becomes A Crowd Of Wild Animals And I Have To Be The Lion-tamer Or Be Eaten.

I Don't Know Why I Should Have To Learn Algebra... I'm Never Likely To Go There.

Heckling Is An Act Of Cowardice. If You Want To Speak, Get Up In Front Of The Microphone And Speak, Don't Sit In The Dark Hiding. It's Easy To Hide And Shout And Waste People's Time.