I Was A Sober As The Next

I Only Come To Life When There Are People Watching.

I Was A Sober As The Next Guy. The Only Problem Is The Next Guy Was Dean Martin

People Think I Am Dead Because They Haven’t Seen Me Around For Awhile. I’m Not Dead, I’m Very Much Alive, As You Can See. Although, There Are Two Things I Do Before I Get Up Every Morning. I Look Around And If I Don’t Smell Flowers Or See Candles Flickering I Go Ahead And Get Up.

I'm Nuts And I Know It. But So Long As I Make 'em Laugh, They Ain't Going To Lock Me Up.

There Are Three Signs Of Old Age: Loss Of Memory ... I Forget The Other Two.