I Wanted To Be A Rock Star.

I'm A Vulgar Lounge Entertainer, I Don't Need To Wear A Tie.

Oprah's Quitting In 2011. Now We Know Why The Mayans Ended Their Calendar In 2012

I Have A Beard. Just Not On My Face.

I Don't Know Why Some People Get Worked Up About Gay People Marrying. It's Not Gay People Who Are Ruining The Sanctity Of Marriage, It's Celebrities.

These Days, Young People Watch Tv On Smartphones And Computers. Young People With An Actual Tv Set Are Harder To Find Than A Picture Of Anthony Weiner With His Clothes On.