I Want The Roast To Be Like

I Don't Think It's Unfair To Have Writers. I Think If You're Going To Do A Roast On Television, As If You Were Doing A Play Or You Were Reading A Script Of A Movie, You Would Have The Best Possible Material. And Those Are The People Who Score, The People Who Are Willing To Listen To The Roasting Experts And Then Come Out There And Own That Material.

I Would Vote For You For President But I'm Against Big Government.

My Own Personal Rule Is To Tell Jokes That I Think The Person I'm Making Them About Can Laugh At, To Go Home And Tell Their Family, Oh, My Gosh.

Comedy Comes From Pain, And No One Knows That Better Than This Woman Roseanne Barr—who Was Molested As A Child. Uch. That Poor Molester. Roseanne Never Got Over It. She Felt Violated. She Had Trust Issues. She Never Got The Candy He Promised Her.

I Had A Life Experience That Most Of My - That None Of My Friends Had. I Remember I Became Everybody's Rabbi. Everybody Who Needed Advice Would Talk To Me, And It Became An Obvious Thing.