I Used To Do Drugs. I Still

I Ordered A Club Sandwich, But I'm Not Even A Member. "i Like My Sandwiches With Three Pieces Of Bread." "well, So Do I!" "then Let's Form A Club." "ok, But We Need Some More Stipulations. Instead Of Cutting The Sandwich Once, Let's Cut It Again. Yes, Four Triangles, Arranged In A Circle, And In The Middle We Will Dump Chips." "how Do You Feel About Frilly Toothpicks?" "i'm For 'em!" "well, This Club Is Formed."

I Have A Roommate, And I Signed A Year Lease. I Screwed Up! That's Like I Wrote A Joke That Didn't Work, But Now I Have To Tell It For A Year.

My Fake Plants Died Because I Did Not Pretend To Water Them.

I'm Sick Of Following My Dreams. I'm Just Going To Ask Them Where They're Goin', And Hook Up With Them Later.

I Didn't Go To College, But If I Did, I Would've Taken All My Tests At A Restaurant, 'cause 'the Customer Is Always Right'.