I Think They Got It Wrong With

I Have No Problems With Buying Tampons. I Am A Fairly Modern Man. But Apparently They're Not A "proper" Present. "happy Birthday, Mum!"

I Saw A Charity Appeal In The Guardian The Other Day, And It Read "little Zuki Has To Walk 13 Miles A Day Just To Fetch Water". And I Couldn't Help Thinking, She Should Move.

I Did A Gig In The U.s. Once For The Homeless. I Said 'it's Nice To See So Many Bums On Seats.'

The Tragedy For Comedians Is There's Nothing More They Want Than To Be Liked. We Desperately Seek Approval. It's Almost Like A Personality Disorder You Can Do As A Job.

A Big Girl Once Came Up To Me After A Show And Said "i Think You're Fatist." I Said "no, No. I Think You're Fattest."