I Think My Best Work Is When

If You Told Me Two Years I Would Miss The Greatest Basketball Game Ever To Hang Out With Nathan Lane, I'd Say, 'you're Crazy!'

Music Is The Soundtrack To The Crappy Movie That Is My Life.

We Americans Commercialize Everything. Look At What We Did To Christmas. Christmas Is Jesus' Birthday. Now, I Don't Know Jesus, But From What I Read He Was The Least Materialistic Person Who Ever Walked The Earth. No Bling On Jesus. He Kept A Low Profile And We Turned His Birthday Into The Most Commercial Day Of The Year. In Fact We Have A Whole Jesus Birthday Season. And Then At The End Of It, We Have The Nerve To Have An Economist Come On Tv And Say What A Horrible Jesus Birthday Season We Had.

Funny Is Only Something That Others Know About You - You Can't Be Funny By Yourself.

You Don't Need A Critic To Tell You People Aren't Laughing.