I Think If You Look Back At

Well, I Was Lucky Enough To Be Involved In About 19 Failures At An Early Age, So I'm Realistic About The Success I'm Having And How Quickly It Can Go Away. What's Important Is To Be Smart About It.

I Used To Be A Real Prince Charming If I Went On A Date With A Girl. But Then I'd Get To Where I Was Likely To Have A Stroke From The Stress Of Keeping Up My Act. I've Since Learned The Key To A Good Date Is To Pay Attention On Her.

I Certainly Like The Rumour That I Was The Father Of Elizabeth Hurley's Baby. It Made Me Think I Could Impregnate Women In A Different Way To Everyone Else. Elizabeth And I Were Never Alone In A Room Together, So I Must Be A Very Powerful Man Indeed. Actually, I'm Thinking Of Suing The Baby!

In High School, My Prom Date Fooled Around With Another Guy - On Prom Night!

To Be A Comedian, You Have To Have Some Darkness Behind It. I Certainly Draw On My Past, And It Helps.