I Tend To Avoid Televisions, Politics, And

One Of My Favorite Clothing Patterns Is Camouflage. Because When You're In The Woods It Makes You Blend In. But When You're Not It Does Just The Opposite. It's Like, 'hey, There's An Asshole.'

I've Met A Few People Who Were Passive-aggressive, But I've Never Met Anyone Who Was Aggressive-passive. I Don't Want Tacos! Maybe.

I Wear Dark Sunglasses When I Want My Head To Look More Like A Limousine.

The Shortest Distance Between Two Idiots Is A Conga Line.

You Are Ten Times More Likely To Get Hit By A Car When The Driver Is Aiming For You.