I Read That As Marijuana Legalization Becomes

There Are Reports That If Joe Biden Runs For President, He Would Promise To Serve For Only One Term - Because Nothing Says Confidence Like Promising Your Presidency Would Be Over Quickly.

That's Right, Mitt Romney Took On Evander Holyfield In A Boxing Match For Charity, And It Was A Pretty One-sided Fight. But It Was Still Not The Worst Boxing Match We've Seen This Month. This Weekend Vladimir Putin Played In An Exhibition Hockey Game With Some Former Nhl Players And Scored Eight Goals. Even Evander Holyfield And Mitt Romney Said, 'that Looks Fake.'

President Obama Had Beer With Four Unemployed Construction Workers. And Obama Asked The Guys What Was It Like To Lose Their Jobs, And They Were Like, 'oh, You'll See.'

Director Ken Burns Revealed That His Next Documentary Is About Franklin Roosevelt, And It's Fourteen Hours Long...which Sounds Like Too Much, Until You Realize There's Been Over Thirty Hours Of Tv Dedicated To Honey Boo Boo.

The Tsa's Airport Body Scanners Have Been Shown To Be So Ineffective, The Homeland Security Chairman Suggested Using Traditional Metal Detectors. While Laguardia Will Continue To Just Have A Scarecrow Dressed As A Cop.