According To A New Poll, The Number

Mary-kate And Ashley Olsen Attended A Fundraiser For Hillary Clinton In New York City This Week. Hillary Told Them, 'good Luck With The Reboot Of Your '90s Show.' And They Said, 'thanks. Good Luck With Yours.'

Politicians Are Really Getting Desperate. In Fact, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid Sent Out A Final Fundraising Email To Democrats With The Subject Line, 'i'm Begging.' Because What Better Way To Show You're A Strong Leader Than Acting Like You're Drunk And Dialing Your Ex?

A Pennsylvania Woman Convicted For Shoplifting Was Sentenced To Wear A Badge That Reads "convicted Shoplifter." However, Her Lawyers Hope To Plea Bargain Down To A Bumper Sticker Reading "i'd Rather Be Stealing!.

The Department Of Agriculture Announced That It Will Ban Six New Strains Of E. Coli. Which Explains Why The Hot Dog Vendor Outside My Building Is Now Just Selling Napkins.

Fifteen States Across The Country Have Gas Prices That Have Dipped Below $2. That Means It's Now Cheaper To Buy A Gallon Of Liquefied Dinosaurs Than One Cup Of Coffee At Starbucks.