I Read Books More Than I Go

I'm Most Certainly Not The Beatles.

I Tell My Kids, "look, Your Life Is A Video Game, And I Have To Get You From Level Zero To 18 As An Independent Person With All Your Skills And Limbs Intact. Every Time You Hit Your Brother Or Throw Food, You're Taking Us All Back."

I Have This Fancy Givenchy Bag. I Don't Know What The Kardashians Have In Their Bags - I Bet They Have Really Expensive Products Or Six Cellphones Or Something. I Have A Cellphone And Some Lipstick For Me, And The Rest Is Just Filled With Stuff For The Kids - Sunscreen And Lip Balm And Little Ziploc Bags Of Pretzels And Cheese Sticks.

I Was Class Mom At The Preschool One Year And I Was Pretty Much Asked Not To Do That Again!

How Many Times Can You Say, "no Yanking On One Another's Genitals?" Everything Is Hilarious Until Someone Starts Crying.