I Played Golf... I Did Not Get

A Burrito Is A Sleeping Bag For Ground Beef.

People Teach Their Dogs To Sit; It's A Trick. I've Been Sitting My Whole Life, And A Dog Has Never Looked At Me As Though He Thought I Was Tricky.

If You're Watching A Parade, Don't Follow It. It Never Changes. If The Parade Is Boring, Run In The Opposite Direction. You Will Fast-forward The Parade.

I Know People Who Believe In Ghosts But Don’t Believe In Themselves. It’s Kind Of Sad. Okay You Don’t Think You’ll Ever Make It As A Musician, But Last Night You Saw A Translucent Caveman.

Well, That's A 'fresher'. I'm Going On Break.