Kittens Play With Yarn, They Bat It

I Put Fruit On Top Of My Waffles, Because I Want Something To Brush Off.

The Only Way I Could Get My Old Cd Into Stores Is If I Took One In And Leave It. "sir, You Forgot This." "no, I Did Not. That Is For Sale. Please Alphabetize It."

I Want To Ride In A Cold Air Balloon. "this Isn't Going Anywhere!"

Wearing A Turtleneck Is Like Being Strangled By A Really Weak Guy, All Day. Wearing A Backpack And A Turtleneck Is Like A Weak Midget Trying To Bring You Down.

When You're Doing A Show On Stage, And They Show You A Red Light, That Means You Have 5 Minutes Left. At Some Clubs, They Hold A Candle Up In The Back. That's The Worst Method. You're Up Here, And Then You See A Floating Candle. "oh, No! This Place Is Haunted!" I Can't Be Funny When I'm Frightened.