I Like Wearing Necklaces, Because It Lets

You Should Never Tell Someone They Have A Nice Dimple, Because Maybe They Were Shot In The Face With A Bb Gun.

The Only Way I Could Get My Old Cd Into Stores Is If I Took One In And Leave It. "sir, You Forgot This." "no, I Did Not. That Is For Sale. Please Alphabetize It."

Advil Has A Candy Coating. It's Delicious. Then It Says On The Bottle, Do Not Have More Than Two. Then Why Do They Have A Candy Coating? I Cannot Help Myself. Let Me Have Ten Advil, I Have A Sweet Tooth.

I Don't Have A Girlfriend. I Just Know A Girl Who Would Get Really Mad If She Heard Me Say That.

I Think We Should Only Get 3 Honks A Month On The Car Horn. Then, Someone Cuts You Off, You Press The Horn, And Nothing Happens. You're Like, "crap! I Wish I Hadn't Seen Ricky On The Sidewalk!"