I Originate From A Family Where Sauce

No One Diets On Thanksgiving.

When They Told Me I Needed A Mastectomy, I Thought Of The Thousands Of Luncheons And Dinners I Had Attended Where They Slapped A Name Tag On My Left Bosom. I Always Smiled And Said, 'now, What Shall We Name The Other One?' That Would No Longer Be A Problem.

What Does It Profit A 78-year-old Woman To Sit Around The Pool In A Bikini If She Cannot Feed Herself?

I've Exercised With Women So Thin That Buzzards Followed Them To Their Cars.

Never Have More Children Than You Have Car Windows.