I Never Went To A John Wayne

Anyone Who Gives A Surgeon Six Thousand Dollars For Breast Augmentation Should Give Some Thought To Investing A Little More In Brain Augmentation.

Hating The Yankees Is As American As Pizza Pie, Unwed Mothers, And Cheating On Your Income Tax.

Newspapers, Magazines And Other Publications Have The Constitutional Right To Be Offensive, Even Disgusting. As Evidence Of That, Just Watch This Space Regularly.

A Pessimist Sees The Glass As Half Empty; A Cub Fan Wonders When It's Gonna Spill.

Whether One Eats A Cat Or Not Is A Personal Choice, And I Don't Want To Sway Anyone One Way Or Another. But If You Do, There Is One Obvious Cooking Tip: Always Remember To Remove The Bell From The Cat's Collar Before Cooking.