I Like Characters That Are Fragile And

I Do Whatever Comes My Way. But I Get Burned Out On Stage. It's A Lonely World. I Think Part Of The Romanticism About Being On The Road Is You Get To Meet A Lot Of - My Mom Once Told Me, "you've Probably Got A Woman At Every Port." Like I'm A Pirate. Obviously She Doesn't Know Her Son That Well.

I Think Sadness And Anger Are Really Fertile Ground For Comedy. No One Is Really Interested In A Happy Person Doing Comedy.

You Know You're Getting Fat When Your Socks Don't Fit.

If You See Something, Say Something.

Yesterday, I Masturbated For 45 Minutes... With Salad Tongs.