I Left Home Because I Was Hungry.

A Fellow Told Me He Was Going To Hang-glider School. He Said, 'i've Been Going For Three Months. ' I Said, 'how Many Successful Jumps Do You Need To Make Before You Graduate?' He Said, 'all Of Them. '

If By Chance Some Day You're Not Feeling Well And You Should Remember Some Silly Thing I've Said Or Done And It Brings Back A Smile To Your Face Or A Chuckle To Your Heart, Then My Purpose As Your Clown Has Been Fulfilled.

You Know How To Tell When You're Getting Old? When Your Broad Mind Changes Places With Your Narrow Waist.

Live By This Credo: Have A Little Laugh At Life And Look Around You For Happiness Instead Of Sadness. Laughter Has Always Brought Me Out Of Unhappy Situations.

I Don't Pick On Politicians. They Ain't Done Nothin'.