I Left Home Because I Was Hungry.

Television: The Device That Brings Into Your Living Room Characters You Would Never Allow In Your Living Room.

God's Children And Their Happiness Are My Reasons For Being.

Congress: Bingo With Billions.

If By Chance Some Day You're Not Feeling Well And You Should Remember Some Silly Thing I've Said Or Done And It Brings Back A Smile To Your Face Or A Chuckle To Your Heart, Then My Purpose As Your Clown Has Been Fulfilled.

When Anyone Hurts Us, My Wife And I Sit In Our Japanese Sand Garden And Drink Iced Tea. There Are Five Stone In The Garden - For Sky, Wind, Fire, Water, And Earth. We Sit And Think Of Five Of The Nicest Things We Can About The Person Who Hurt Us. If He Hurts Us A Second Time, We Do The Same Thing. The Third Time, We Light A Candle, And He Is, For Us, Dead.