Mom Used To Say I Didn't Run

All Men Make Mistakes, But Married Men Find Out About Them Sooner.

You Know How To Tell When You're Getting Old? When Your Broad Mind Changes Places With Your Narrow Waist.

I Only Come To Life When There Are People Watching.

I Don't Pick On Politicians. They Ain't Done Nothin'.

You Know, Last Night It Was So Cold That My Pillow And My Sheets Fought To See Who Got Under The Blankets First.