I Haven't Been Hit Since Leon Spinks

When I Do Stand-up For A Long Time, I'll Get Burned Out, Then I'll Get An Acting Gig. For Me, The Grass Is Always Greener. I'd Like To Do A Mixture Of All Of It. My Goal Is Just To Do Small Movies That I've Written. That's What I'm Trying To Do Now, Just Write Smaller Movies.

Inappropriateness Is Funny To Me. Rudeness Is Hilarious.

You Know You're Getting Fat When Your Socks Don't Fit.

I Was Just Thinking How Unfortunate It'd Be To Be A Fat Girl Named Candy.

I Have Never Been Much Of A Groomer. I Take Baths A Lot, But I Don't Wear Deodorant. I Don't Have To. I Have A Miraculous Body Scent. I've Had Women Smell Me And Say That Should Be Bottled. I Would Advise Guys To Lay Off The Drakkar, Because The Cavemen Weren't Wearing It. They Might Have Been Putting Mint Leaves On Their Balls, But Your Scent Is Grown Naturally. I Have Really Good Dating Advice.