I Don't Want To Do An Edgy

You Write Things That Are Of Interest To You. There's No Focus Group.

I Think Comedy Is A Really, Really Good Tool For Trying To Say Something.

When You Look Like I Do Its Hard To Get A Table For One At Chucky Cheese.

You Know You're Getting Fat When Your Socks Don't Fit.

You Know You Have A Drinking Problem When The Bartender Knows Your Name -- And You've Never Been To That Bar Before.