I Have What I Call A-list Moments,

Gwyneth Paltrow Names Her Kid Apple. I'm Not Going To Let That Stand.

I Actually Have To Pick And Chose Stuff That I Know I'm Going To Bomb At.

So I Wonder If Anything Should Ever Be Off Limits.

Well, Jon Hamm Isn't A Real Celebrity.

I Have A No-apology Policy. No Apologies For Jokes. I Apologize In My Real Life All The Time. I Say Ridiculous Things, I Make Mistakes Constantly. But When I'm On Stage, I'm At A Microphone It's A Joke!