I Have Such Poor Vision I Can

You Know It's Funny That None Of The Regular Late-night Shows Now Use Guest Hosts The Way Johnny Did. No One Talks About It Much, But It's Curious That They Don't Do It. They Would Each Have To Be Asked The Reason Why They Don't.

I Met A New Girl At A Barbecue, Very Pretty, A Blond I Think. I Don't Know, Her Hair Was On Fire, And All She Talked About Was Herself. You Know These Kind Of Girls: 'i'm Hot. I'm On Fire. Me, Me, Me.' You Know. 'help Me, Put Me Out.' Come On, Could We Talk About Me Just A Little Bit?

I Don't Know How To Ground Myself Without The Other Actor Present.

They Should Put Expiration Dates On Clothing So We Men Will Know When They Go Out Of Style.

After Making Love I Said To My Girl, "was It Good For You Too?" And She Said, "i Don't Think This Was Good For Anybody."