I Have No Methods. All I Do

Don't Tell Your Kids You Had An Easy Birth Or They Won't Respect You. For Years I Used To Wake Up My Daughter And Say, 'melissa You Ripped Me To Shreds. Now Go Back To Sleep.'.

A Man Can Sleep Around, No Questions Asked, But If A Woman Makes Nineteen Or Twenty Mistakes She's A Tramp.

You Know You're Getting Old When You Buy A Sexy Sheer Nightgown And Don't Know Anyone Who Can See Through It.

I’m Never Without A Bandage.

I Have So Little Sex Appeal That My Gynecologist Calls Me "sir."