I Have A Wonderful Respect For Old

Declassified Papers Report That John Kennedy Was Taking Eight Different Medications A Day. He Was So Wasted, His Secret Service Code Name Was Ted Kennedy.

President Bush Said John Kerry Is On Both Sides Of Every Issue. And Kerry Replied, 'no, I'm Not ... But There Is Some Truth To That.'

As Fighting In Iraq Intensifies, President Bush Delivered His Supplemental War Budget To Congress. The Money Will Cover 30 Days Of Fighting, Then We'll Be Sent One War Every Other Month Until We Cancel Our Subscription.

Tom Ridge Now Says We Don't Have To Run Out And Put Plastic Sheets All Over The House. Great, Tell That To My Dead Parakeet.

Critics Say Arnold Has No Previous Government Experience, But Advisers Say He's Clearly The Most Qualified Austrian, Ex-mr. Universe In The Race.