President Bush Is In The Hot Seat

I Don't Want To Scare Anybody Here But We Just Received Word From Police That Howard Dean Is Loose And May Be Armed With A Microphone.

As The Democrats Get Revved Up At Their Convention In Boston, President Bush Is Fighting Back The Only Way He Knows How: By Going On Vacation! Ah, It's Nice To Take A Rest, Replenish Your Supply Of Smirks. The Vacation Was Expected, Because Bush Traditionally Takes A Month Off Every Summer To Relax And Avoid Reading National Security Warnings.

President Bush Spent Last Night Calling World Leaders To Support The War With Iraq And It Is Sad When The Most Powerful Man On Earth Is Yelling, 'i Know You're There, Pick Up, Pick Up.

Hillary Clinton Has Finished Writing Her Book Where She Says Her Marriage Couldn't Be Stronger, And Bill Just Finished His Book Titled 'chicks I Nailed While Hillary Was Writing Her Book.'

Clinton Said He Feels Safe In Harlem. It's The Only Place In The State Hillary Is Scared To Look For Him After Dark.