I Hated The Summer Jobs I Had

The Three Drunkest Cities In America: Fresno, Riverside, And Whatever Mel Gibson Is Driving Through.

Santa Blows All These Shipping Companies Away. He Delivers More Than 2 Billion Packages In Just 24 Hours. He Does It By Sleigh. He Doesn't Use Tracking Numbers And Doesn't Use Trucks. He Just Uses Midgets And A Giant Bag.

I Know The Fashion Is That Everything Is Fair Game [for Comedy Material] But I Don't Believe That.

The Queen Banishes Snow White Because Of Her Beauty. But The Dwarves Help Snow White Because They're Smitten By That Very Beauty. It Teaches Kids An Important Lesson: Nothing Matters Except For Your Looks.

I Do A Show. It Comes On Late At Night On Tv. And If That Means I'm A Late-night Talk Show Host, Then I Guess I Am, But In Every Other Regard I Resign My Commission, I Don't Care For It.