I Give Women Two Types Of Orgasms.

California Is Like The Hot Blond High School Chick Who's Been Getting By On Her Looks, But Now She's 45 And Falling Apart.

If You Want To Have A Good Life, You Should Focus On Your Family, On Your Business, On Your Dog, On Your Fun, And You'll Have A Good Life.

I Got Drunk In Canada. I Was There For 2 Days But I Was Drunk There For 4 Days. I Don't Know How It Worked. I Guess It Was With The Time Difference Or Something.

[giving Welfare To Poor People] Is The Equivalent Of The Government Sending [fat People] A Jumbo Bag Of Bugles In The Mail Twice A Month.

We're All Animals, That We All Respond To The Same Stimuli. If You Want To Motivate Somebody Not To Have Premarital Sex, Or Motivate Black Bears Not To Go Diving Into Dumpsters, First You Have To Think About Why They Do It. Telling Them To Stop Isn't Going To Help. There Has To Be Some Incentive For Them To Alter Their Behavior.