I Get All Of My Comedy From

My Job Was Basically To Look At A Good Friend Completely Naked And Rub Lotion On Her Back. I Was Naked Too, But I Got To Put A Towel On Almost Immediately. So I Was Like, "well, This Is Going To Be Embarrassing, But It's Also Going To Be Kinda Awesome."

I Actually Got The Part. And I Thought, Well, I'll Do It For A While. I'll Just Quit If It's Stupid.

I Didn't Hang Any Pictures In My Office For A Year Because I Thought That I Would Be Jinxing Myself And Have To Take Them Down The Next Day.

Apparently It's Cool To Watch The Daily Show.

I Always Fancied Myself More Of An Actor Than A Comedian Before I Realized That Only Assholes Make That Kind Of Distinction.