I Get All Of My Comedy From

It Looks Like Garbage, My Ass. But Trust Me, You're Lucky It's Not Full-frontal.

I Like Playing Really Super-intense, Live-in-the-moment Characters. It Asks Me To Not Phone It In. It's Impossible To Phone It In. Every American Boy Has Spent His Childhood Pretending To Get Shot.

I've Been An Apple Guy Since The Mid 80's And That's When I Was Like, "boy, You Guys Really Got Me Here. I Know Exactly What You're Doing, Right Down To Your Price Points."

Ethanol Is, In Its Pure Form, Just As Much Of A Sham As Oil.

Sometimes We Have To Actually Say, I Think You're Really Funny, But None Of Your Jokes Are Going To Make It On The Air. So Just Answer My Questions. Seriously.