I Figured Out I'm Bisexual. I Have

I'm At An Age Where I Think More About Food Than I Do About Sex. Last Week I Put A Mirror Over My Dining Room Table.

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. In My House, We Pray After We Eat.

With Girls I Get No Respect. A Belly Dancer Told Me I Turned Her Stomach.

I Started Over Again With An Image: Nothing Goes Right. Then When The Godfather Came Out, All I Heard Was, Show Respect. With Me, You Show Respect. So I Changed The Image To I Don't Get No Respect. I Tried It Out In Greenwich Village. I Remember The First Joke I Told: Even As A Kid, I'd Play Hide And Seek And The Other Kids Wouldn't Even Look For Me. The People Laughed. After The Show, They Started Saying To Me, Me, Too - I Don't Get No Respect. I Figured, Let's Try It Again.

His Breath Is So Bad Why Every Time He Smokes He Blows Onion Rings.