I Drink So The Others Become Interesting.

Women, As They Grow Older, Rely More And More On Cosmetics. Men, As They Grow Older, Rely More And More On A Sense Of Humor.

The Dramatic Critic Who Is Without Prejudice Is On The Plane With The General Who Does Not Believe In Taking Human Life.

I Know Many Married Men, I Even Know A Few Happily Married Men, But I Don't Know One Who Wouldn't Fall Down The First Open Coal Hole Running After The First Pretty Girl Who Gave Him A Wink.

The Russian Dramatist Is One Who, Walking Through A Cemetery, Does Not See The Flowers On The Graves. The American Dramatist . . . Does Not See The Graves Under The Flowers.

Love Demands Infinitely Less Than Friendship.