I Drink Diet Coke So I Can

I Get A Lot Of Influence From Pro Wrestling. People Are Like, 'oh, It's Fake.' But It's Not About Whether The Guy Wins Or Loses, It's About How He Entertains You The Whole Time You're Watching.

When You Go To Hawaii, It's All About "aloha." It Means Hello, Goodbye And I Love You.

In The Beginning, When I Was Doing My Shows, I Was Incorporating A Lot Of Spanish, Just Trying To Be A Latino Comic Instead Of Just A Comic. Now I Try To Make The Show As Broad As Possible... I Don't Want To Alienate People. I Want To Make It So Everybody Can Follow Along And Everybody Can Relate.

And I Don't Want You Thinking That My Girlfriend Is A Bad Person. She Is An Amazing Woman, The Fact That I Only Have Seven Stories About Her In Eight Years, Says A Lot. You Know, Don't Get Me Wrong, Five Of Them Happened This Year, But That's Still Way Below The Bar, You Know What I Am Saying.

People Understand When I Talk About My Son Not Listening, Or Issues At Home Or His Real Dad Coming Back Into The Picture, Or Even Stories About Family Members Not Seeing Eye To Eye With What You're Doing.