I Drink Diet Coke So I Can

I Like To Tell Old Jokes On Stage After About An Hour, Or An Hour And A Half. I'll Bring Those Old Ones Back Because The Fans Love Them.

I'm Not On A Diet. And It's Funny Cause People Go 'well, Then Why Do You Drink Diet Soda?' So I Can Eat Regular Cake.

There's Nowhere In The Country That I Can't Go Or Won't Go. I Think It's Because I've Worked On Making My Show Where Everyone Can Understand It, Everyone Can Relate To It, And No One Feels Like I'm Alienating Them.

When I First Got To St. Louis, I Saw The Arch And I Said, 'i Want To Go To That Mcdonalds.

Hanging Out With Comics, All They Did Was Make Fun Of Me.