I Don't Watch Reality Tv.

Sex And Murder Are The Same. Well, You Say The Same After Both Don't You? "damn I Got To Get The Hell Out Of Here!" "what Was I Thinking!"

Being On The Road Is Kind Of Lonely.

I've Never Had A Surprise Birthday Party. I've Had Every Other Type Of Surprise. I've Had Surprise Beatings, Surprise Drug Tests, Surprise Daughter I Think.

It's A Horrible Economy But I'm Trying To Do My Part. I Just Bought A New Shower Curtain It Has All The Presidents On It. Do You Know How Hard It Is To Masturbate With All The Presidents Staring At You? And When The Water Hits Them It Looks Like They're Crying.

If I Had A Kid, I'd Give Him A Name That Would Make Everyone Would Want To Say His Name. I'd Call Him, Pizza-pussy-santa. I Would! Cause Everybody Likes One Of Those Things.