I Don't Watch Reality Tv.

I Hang Out With My Dad Mostly, My Dad Was In The Military. He's At That Age Now Where His War Stories And Other Stories Have Blended Together, So Now You Don't Know What He's Talking About. One Time, We Were Surrounded, Then We Ran Out Of Ammo, Then We Were Fighting Hand-to-hand, Then We Started Dancing, And That's How I Met Your Mother.

I Get Recognized, But I'm Not Really A Famous Famous.

Women Have All The Power Because Women Have All The Vaginas.

I Feel Like Soundtrack Music Is Almost Like Seeing The Movie Again, But With My Ears.

Every Dude In Here Has Had A Fantasy About Jessica Simpson. Here's Mine: Jessica, Hold Your Sister Ashlee So I Can Kick Her In The Throat.