I Don't Want To Own Anything That

If I Could Get My Membership Fee Back, I'd Resign From The Human Race.

In Show Business, More Showgirls Are Kept Than Promises.

On Ships They Call Them Barnacles; In Business They Attach Themselves To Desks And Are Called Vice Presidents.

Cocktail Party: A Gathering Held To Enable Forty People To Talk About Themselves At The Same Time. The Man Who Remains After The Liquor Is Gone Is The Host.

We Are Living In The Machine Age. For The First Time In History The Comedian Has Been Compelled To Supply Himself With Jokes And Comedy Material To Compete With The Machine. Whether He Knows It Or Not, The Comedian Is On A Treadmill To Oblivion.