I Don't Think I'm Successful.

For Me, Being A Woman Suits What I Want To Talk About And What My Audience Wants To Hear. Maybe I'm A Dying Breed.

I Have A Fear Of Poverty In Old Age. I Have This Vision Of Myself Living In A Skip And Eating Cat Food. It's Because I'm Freelance, And I've Never Had A Proper Job. I Don't Have A Pension, And My Savings Are Dwindling. I Always Thought Someone Would Just Come Along And Look After Me.

The Only Way To Go On Holiday Is With Your Expectations At Ground Level. Convince Yourself Before You Go That The Weather's Going To Be Dreadful And There Will Be Nylon Sheets. You'll Then Be Pleasantly Surprised.

People Often Ask Why Comedy Is Harder For Women, And The Reason Is Because A Tampon Will Sometimes Fall Out When You're On Stage. Blokes Don't Have That Worry.

I Can't Tan Naturally.