I Don't Think I Should Have Been

I'm Glad I Am A Woman Who Once Danced Naked In The Mediterranean Sea At Midnight.

Everything Edible Is Fried In Texas! Or It Is Buried In The Ground To Cook Before It Is Eaten. ... Texas Food Should Be Forbidden! 'the Steaks At Night Are Big And Bright, Deep In The Heart Of Texas!' And They Are Always Afloat In Grease. Next Morning You Are Served A Smaller Steak, Which Serves As A Platform For Two Fried Eggs ... All Of This Afloat In The Same Grease! 'chicken, You Say? You Bet! Comin' Up!' Same Grease! They Are Right. Comin' Up! For Hours Afterwards. I Couldn't Believe The Crust Of An Apple Pie! Same Grease!

Radio Is Truly The Theater Of The Mind. The Listener Constructs The Sets, Colors Them From His Own Palette, And Sculpts And Costumes The Characters Who Perform In Them.

Like Many Alcoholics, I Was A Staggering Woman In A Chic Apartment, Sick And Utterly Disgusting.

I Am Rich From The Bequests Other Gifted People Have Seen Fit To Leave To Me.