I Don't See Myself As Offending People.

I Said To My Girlfriend, You Shouldn't Eat Before You Swim. She Said, "why Not"? I Said, You Look Fat.

When You Eat A Lot Of Spicy Food, You Can Lose Your Taste. When I Was In India Last Summer, I Was Listening To A Lot Of Michael Bolton.

Even If You're Doing The National Insurance Awards, There's Still That Excitement When You Wonder Who Is Going To Win, Er, Best Premiums.

My Mum Told Me The Best Time To Ask My Dad For Anything Was During Sex. Not The Best Advice I'd Ever Been Given. I Burst In Through The Bedroom Door Saying "can I Have A New Bike?". He Was Very Upset. His Secretary Was Surprisingly Nice About It. I Got The Bike.

I'm Not Worried About The Third World War. That's The Third World's Problem.