I Don't Like Country Music, But I

Marriage And Fatherhood Heighten The Disillusion That We All Think We Are Born Handy. We Confidently Believe That We Can Fix Things Around The House, As If It's Part Of The Collective Brain That Was Further Enhanced By Eighth-grade Shop Class.

Cell Phones Have Gotten So Small, You Can't Tell Who's A Cell Phone User And Who's A Schizophrenic.

I Really Don't Know What Makes A Comedian. I Think It's A Family Background And Environment. Yet If You Put The Same Ingredients In Another Person, He May Never Utter A Funny Line.

All Comedians Are, In A Way, Anarchists. Our Job Is To Make Fun Of The Existing World.

This Stammer Got Me A Home In Beverly Hills, And I'm Not About To Screw With It Now.