I Do What I Do Because I

If I Have Sex, I Know My Quarterly Estimated Taxes Must Be Due. And If It's Oral Sex, I Know It's Time To Renew My Driver's License.

Everyone Should Have Kids. They Are The Greatest Joy In The World. But They Are Also Terrorists. You'll Realize This As Soon As They Are Born And They Start Using Sleep Deprivation To Break You.

I Came From An Italian House. The Refrigerator Was Always Full. I Never Knew You Had To Buy Food. I Thought There Were Food Fairies That Came At Night.

My Career Has Been My Craziest Adventure.

People Are Going To See Both Of Us And Think It's An Abbott And Costello Kind Of Thing. It's Not An Easy Switch. It's Not An Easy Transition From Tv To Film.