My Career Has Been My Craziest Adventure.

My Theory Has Always Been That Everyone In Show Business Is There Because They Were Deprived Of Some Attention As A Child.

I Came From An Italian House. The Refrigerator Was Always Full. I Never Knew You Had To Buy Food. I Thought There Were Food Fairies That Came At Night.

I Had A Very Italian House - The "plastic Furniture You Couldn't Sit On" House. Did Anybody Have The Museum House? For A Kid It's Traumatic. Towels You Can Never Touch. China No One's Ever Gonna Use. Everything Is For A Special Occasion That Never Happens. My Mother Was Waiting For The Pope To Show Up For Dinner. Or Sinatra. Or Chachi.

Mike Royce And I Have Always Had Success Writing What We Know. What We Know Now Is That We're Middle-aged, Neurotic And Fat.

You Know, Before I Would Think, My Cab Driver Hates Me. Now I Think My Limo Driver Hates Me.