I Do Realise That When I Laugh,

If Only Africa Had More Mosquito Nets Then Every Year We Could Save Millions Of Mosquitoes From Dying Needlessly Of Aids.

Say What You Want About The Deaf.

As Soon As I Did My First Five Minutes Of Stand-up I Knew That I Would Rather Be A Failure At Comedy Than A Success In Marketing.

I Used To Buy Lottery Tickets Every Week Until I Realised You Could Watch It On Tv For Nothing.

The 2012 Olympics Is Going To Cost £8 Billion Which Is A Lot Of Money. It'll Probably Bankrupt London. But You Can't Put A Price On Two Bronze Medals In Cycling.