I Can't Predict The Future And I

I Can't Pretend That I'm A Great Student Of The Art Of Comedy Because Anybody That Becomes Philosophical About Humor Doesn't Know What He's Talking About.

Comparing What The Democrats Offer To What The Republicans Offer Is Like Comparing The Money I Have In My Pocket To What Bill Gates Has In His.

It's No Longer A Question Of Staying Healthy. It's A Question Of Finding A Sickness You Like.

Truthfully, With The Republicans, I Don't See That Much Wrong With Them.

It Is Easy To Tell The Difference Between Jews And Gentiles. After The Show, All The Gentiles Are Saying 'have A Drink? Want A Drink? Let's Have A Drink!' While All The Jews Are Saying 'have You Eaten Yet? Want A Piece Of Cake? Let's Have Some Cake!