I Bought A Clock, But The Big

The Other Night I Was Playing Twister With Some Amputees.

Stand Up Is Really Fun Because If I Think Of A Joke Or A Funny Idea, Then I Can Just Go And Tell Some People And If They Laugh, They Laugh Right Away.

We Do Not Allow Dwarf Tossing. If You Toss A Dwarf, The Dwarf Will Be Tossed Right Back At You, But Faster.

Parades Are Man's Attempt To Make Traffic Exciting.

I Think Statues Are Great; They Show What Great People Would Look Like If A Bird Sh*t All Over Them.