I Asked My Old Man If I

When I Was Kidnapped As A Child My Parents Sent A Letter To The Hijackers Me Pay 5,000 Dollars Or Your Back

I Told My Wife The Truth. I Told Her I Was Seeing A Psychiatrist. Then She Told Me The Truth: That She Was Seeing A Psychiatrist, Two Plumbers, And A Bartender.

We Lived In A Neighborhood That Was Too Rich For Us. When I Was Young, I Had To Deliver Groceries To The Homes Of The Kids I Went To School With. I Had To Go To The Back Doors To Make The Deliveries. It Was Embarrassing. That Was One Thing Out Of A Hundred.

My Psychiatrist Told Me I Was Crazy And I Said I Want A Second Opinion. He Said Okay, You're Ugly Too.

I Bought A New Japanese Car, I Turned On The Radio ... I Don't Understand A Word They're Saying.