I Always Wanted A Beautiful Loving Wife

Now There's A Seven-day Waiting Period To Buy A Gun. Who Can Stay Mad That Long?

There's A Joke In Everything, The Trick Is Finding It. The Best Compliment A Joke Can Get Is What Huxley Said About Darwin's Theory Of Evolution - 'why Didn't I Think Of That?'

My Girlfriend Told Me That She Was Seeing Another Man. I Told Her To Rub Her Eyes.

When I Went To College, My Parents Threw A Going Away Party For Me, According To The Letter.

What Is Eternity? You're On The Checkout Line At A Supermarket. There Are Seven People In Front Of You. They Are All Old. They All Have Two Carts And Coupons For Every Item. They Are All Paying By Check. None Of Them Have Id. It's The Checkout Girl's First Day On The Job. She Doesn't Speak Any English. Take Away Fifteen Minutes From That, And You Begin To Get An Idea Of What Eternity Is.