I Always Thought Communism Was Crap, Really.

A Lot Of Those Comics Can't Hold Down Relationships And They've Got No Other Life Apart From Performing. They Sleep In Their Jags And A Lot Of Them Can't Even Talk. All They Can Do Is Tell Gags.

If Sitcoms Were Easy To Write, There'd Be A Lot Of Good Ones, And There Aren't.

First Off, I Have To Mention What Is Undoubtedly The Greatest Phenomenon Of The Modern Era: All You Can Eat Buffets.

If Someone Starts Agreeing With Me, I Don't Like It. Out Of Pique, I Become Something Else.

I Don't Think People Were That Interested In What I Was Doing For The Most Of The 1990s.