How Would It Be If We Discovered

The Pentagon Still Has Not Given A Name To The Iraqi War. Somehow 'operation Re-elect Bush' Doesn't Seem To Be Popular.

Women Get A Little More Excited About New Year's Eve Than Men Do. It's Like An Excuse: You Drink Too Much, You Make A Lot Of Promises You're Not Going To Keep; The Next Morning As Soon As You Wake Up You Start Breaking Them. For Men, We Just Call That A Date.

President Bush Said That American Workers Will Need New Skills To Get The New Jobs In The 21st Century. Some Of The Skills They're Going To Need Are Spanish, Chinese, Korean, Because That's Where The Jobs Went. Who Better Than Bush As An Example Of What Can Happen When You Take A Job Without Any Training.

U.n. Officials Said Today They Desperately Need $7 Billion To Help People Cope With Disasters, But They're Having A Hard Time Getting People To Send Rescue Money. Here's What The Un Should Do: Invest In Bad Mortgages, Run A Bank Into The Ground, Give Yourself A Bonus, Get Some Spa Treatments And, In No Time, The Government Will Send You $750 Billion.

Howard Dean Was Endorsed By Al Gore. Now, If Dean Could Get Gray Davis To Campaign For Him, That Would Put Him Over The Top.